a long run.

almost twelve years after his death, i just realized that grief is indeed a long run. 
i thought i would recover. 
i thought i would be okay someday. 
the truth is: i'm okay some days, but on other days, it's miserable—a total chaos.

today, someone asked me: "why is your father's name still here on paper?"
how is it supposed to be?

"we will process the deletion, the data needs to be renewed."

can we let him stay? at least on a paper...

the grief will always be a part of my life. it doesn't leave. it lives in me. 

i think it isn't fair,
but, is life ever fair?

bapak, i wish you a good afterlife.

in another life, there would be joy and eternity.

in another life, that disease wouldn't win.

in another life, you would live, not just survive.

i love you—always.

till we meet again, surrounded by laugh, happiness and tranquillity.