ten years of loving you (harder).

August 21 this year marked ten years without you by my side. They lied. Time doesn't heal. The grief is still there. Luckily, your love makes it bearable. 

So, how's life up there, Bapak?

I'm good. Yesterday I turned 26. People said 25 is the critical point where everyone is going thru a quarter-life crisis. 

First, why do we call that specific time of our life a quarter of life as if we'll live til 100?

Second, my critical point is already started when you're back to the eternal place, ten frickin' years ago. I don't know. I don't think I could relate to that now because every single day without you is a crisis. Was my 25 hard? yes, as we get older, the storm also gets bigger, right? Hehe, but turning 16 without you is the most traumatic experience ever.

I'm 26, and I bravely across the street every day on my way going to work. Such self-development, isn't it? You will be happy to know that little thing as you always did back then.

Bapak, you're the kindest one in my life. see you again, someday! there are zillion stories I could tell you later when the weather is nice! I love you! I hope we still know each other when we meet again; I hope your memories don't fade as I tried my best to keep you warm inside my heart.

(08/2022)